HSS Pt.2

What happened next, was no gentle passage. In fact, while dismantling her gender-limiting beliefs, her self-doubt and shame actually got louder. Could it be that these “feminine” roles as care-taker and holy martyr were a crutch or worse, her personality? 

Thanks to a book that led her to other books, she uncovered the crux of her shame and self-doubt.

While the “feminine” role did serve as her identity for many years, she was never just one thing. As a child, she had all sorts of feelings, some big and loud, others soft and quiet. She was free-thinking and wildly intuitive. In the counter-worlds of play and art she remembers sensing and trusting her subtle sequence of countless impulses that pulled her to love, create, and ask why. In fact, this is evident in most if not all children. 

You see she was never just one thing—until her feelings, thoughts, questions, and learning style were repeatedly shamed and gaslighted. Her instincts were questioned out of her. She learned to love at the cost her self. 

And while I’ve spoken about her in third person—it was me, of course, all along. I can say with calm clarity now: I am a survivor of sexism, psychological trauma, and domestic violence.

In early November of 2024, is when I truly began to mother my life and trust my truths —rather than manage my symptoms. 

Her Self Spoken began as my story. Now it holds space for yours. This blog is dedicated to the feminine psyche, early psychological/emotional trauma, domestic violence, ordinarily kind parenting, and non-violent communication. Her Self Spoken is all about speaking for the loss of self, fragmentation, suppressed rage, paralyzing self-doubt, self-silence, shame, anxious people-pleasing, and caretaking exhaustion. Using a multiple-lens approach, art as portal, and epistemological humility, I hope you feel supported and safe to hear your self along the way.

Hi, my name is Juliana Vassolo, and I practice speaking for my parts, rather than from the pain they carry.